How to support a loved one with depression during the holidays

The holiday season can also be a period of sadness, loneliness, anxiety, and depression for many people. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), people who have had a mental health condition tend to be prone to experiencing the blues.

Samantha Quigneaux, LMFT, National Director of Family Therapy Services at Newport Healthcare, shared with  HOLA! USA  the best way to support a loved one with depression during this season.

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Why do the holidays create a spike in mental health issues?

“With the holidays comes unspoken or sometimes overt expectations of ‘magic and joy.’ The holidays do not eliminate one’s issues or problems and put added pressure on people, especially those already experiencing mental health issues,” says Quigneaux. “The holidays may intensify experiences of anxiety and depression as managing work responsibilities, and family obligations mount.”

According to the expert, there may be immense pressure to spend money on gifts and other social and family activities, “contributing to the ‘magic and meaning-making’ stress. It can become exhausting and feel impossible to keep up with.”

“The holidays can also evoke more profound feelings of sadness and loneliness, especially around relationships; family relationships, romantic relationships, friendships, or as a parent, these dynamics become highlighted.”

Quigneaux said that parental stress and anxiety arise when considering how to set healthy limits and boundaries with children and extended family members. This includes co-parenting dynamics and cultural considerations. “Those who are managing grief and trauma must lean in heavily on a variety of coping skills to keep themselves grounded. Sometimes the idea of ‘home’ elicits negative associations or experiences of not being safe or rejection, requiring another level of emotional planning and coping,” she says.

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“The idea of a New Year approaching can be overwhelming, as it evokes reflection on the prior year and facing disappointments of having not met desired ‘resolutions.’ It may also mean uncertainty and potential changes in routine.”

“Overall societal and personal pressures during the holiday season increase experiences of mental health struggles.”

How can you support a loved one struggling with depression during the holidays?

If you know someone struggling with depression this holiday season, here are some ways you can support them:

Open Conversations: Offer yourself as someone who will listen.

• Making yourself available as a resource for a loved one, someone they can share and vent to can help the person feel seen. They may find relief in knowing you are there for them to talk to. Remember, the key is to listen, not to provide answers or problem-solve.

Check In

• For those struggling with depression, the holidays can feel the opposite of how they feel for everyone else. And many who struggle with depression hide how they are feeling. Check in on your friends and family, especially if you know, they’ve had a tough year. Perhaps someone in your life lost a loved one this year or is out of work; be sure to reach out and show some extra support, as the holidays can be especially tough.

Offer Support

• Remind loved ones that you care and that it’s okay if they feel down during the holidays; the feeling won’t last forever. Offer to go to lunch or walk with them to allow them space to talk about their feelings.

Introduce Professional Help

• If you feel that someone may need help from a mental health professional, consider asking them if this is something you can help arrange for them. Be mindful that this can be a delicate subject, so offer this as an option, not something you are trying to force.

Meet the expert

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Samantha Quigneaux has extensive experience working with adolescents and adults who have experienced trauma, including sexual and physical abuse. She also has expertise working with the LGBTQ community and issues related to gender and sexuality.

Samantha believes that a necessary step in the healing and recovery process is a solid and genuine therapeutic connection that creates safety and allows for growth.

Before joining the Newport Healthcare team, Samantha was the managing moderator for Big White Wall, a 24/7 online community platform helping members to successfully self-manage their emotional health.

She also served as a therapeutic mentor and parent coach for Vive Family Support Program in New York City, providing therapeutic support for young people and their families navigating difficult transitions.

Before that, Samantha was a child and family therapist for the McMahon/Ryan Child Advocacy Center in Syracuse, New York, working with child and adolescent survivors of sexual abuse. She holds a Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy and is a Licensed Marriage And Family Therapist.

Text TALK to 741741 at the Crisis Text Line or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. Take some time to learn about resources in your community, including those that may be online.