What does it mean to be romantic? It is something more profound than hearts, flowers and grand gestures, and it certainly isn’t limited to people in love, says psychologist Sebastián Girona.
In his broad definition: “To be romantic is to have the capacity for sensitivity, which makes us empathetic. It means we want to meet new people and form new bonds... romantics have a marked capacity for friendship and enhanced social skills.” He adds that it can also mean a tendency to idealize others, rather than seeing them ‘warts and all’.
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Are romantics born or made?
“We acquire many of our personal characteristics from the family we grow up in, and we learn more from . what our parents do than what they say,” says Girona. He isn’t just talking about people having a rosy view of relationships because their parents were very much in love with each other.
“The values transmitted don’t necessarily have to do with a couple-type relationship. Romantic values include being interested in others and an emphasis on social skills and issues.”
The place of romance in love Does romance help to keep a relationship on track?
According to Girona, yes it does, because it adds a special element to the couple’s bond, which, along with friendship, sustains it.
But, he says: “There has to be balance. If the relationship is too romantic, if there is too much weight on the ideal rather than the real, the couple can have difficulties. The interplay of romanticism and real life keeps things interesting.”
New romantics
Girona says that it is perfectly possible to become more romantic, in the sense he uses the word. “Things that don’t come naturally can be worked on... We should emphasise developing our sensitivity, our empathy, connecting more with the other person, putting ourselves in our partner’s shoes and understanding what is happening to him or her.”
New romantics
Girona says that it is perfectly possible to become more romantic, in the sense he uses the word. “Things that don’t come naturally can be worked on... We should emphasise developing our sensitivity, our empathy, connecting more with the other person, putting ourselves in our partner’s shoes and understanding what is happening to him or her.”
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