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Miss USA Cheslie Kryst has published her first memoir with the help of her mother. The beauty queen died two years ago at the age of 30. Her mother, April Simpkins, is the co-author of the memoir, titled “By The Time You Read This,” which explores Kryst’s battle with depression and mental illness.
Kryst won the Miss USA crown in 2019, when she was 28 years old. In an excerpt of her book, published on PEOPLE, Kryst discussed the difficulties she faced when becoming the oldest Miss USA winner. The happy moment was eclipsed by online bullying, with many people throwing racist and ageist criticism on her social media pages.
“All of this only added to my long-standing insecurities—the feeling that everyone around me knew more than I did, that everyone else was better at my job, and that I didn’t deserve this title,” she wrote. “People would soon find out I was a fraud. I felt like an imposter, but not just in pageants.”
“Winning Miss USA hadn’t made my imposter syndrome go away,” she continued. “Instead, I was waiting for people to realize I didn’t have a clue about what I was doing.”
Shortly after Kryst’s death, Simpkins found a note asking for her to complete the memoir, a request she followed.
More about Kryst’s memoir
“By The Time You Read This” debuts this April 23rd, with a cut of the proceeds donated to the Cheslie C. Kryst Foundation, which focuses on mental health for youth and young adults.
Since Kryst’s death, Simpkins has been open about her daughter’s struggles. “Cheslie led both a public and a private life,” she said to E! News. “In her private life, she was dealing with high-functioning depression which she hid from everyone—including me, her closest confidant—until very shortly before her death.”