Welcome, Franco! Francisca introduces her newborn son and newest family member

It’s been a lot of work. The truth is that having a toddler and a newborn at home is a little complicated, but, as is the case with anything you start in life all beginnings are a little chaotic, halfway it gets a little worse, and then it’s a beauty (laughs). We’re here, at home, with our family, trying to adapt and find our routine. Franco is a blessing. He’s brought so much light and joy, the house has changed completely.

As a mom, I’ve felt more at ease, because there’s no improvisation. When you have your first baby, you spend too much time worrying about things that haven’t happened and that might not even happen. You make a movie in your head. Now, when the movie starts playing in my head, I tell myself ‘Remember that you’ve already seen this,’ and I handle things much more smoothly because I know that Franco is okay. I think I’m more flexible now.

I also allow others to have Franco more. What I mean is that I hand him over to his dad, to my mom. With Gennaro, I just wanted him all to myself. Now I understand that it’s best for the baby to be surrounded by people that love and care for him.

For now, our routine tends to be geared towards protecting Gennaro’s feeelings, for him not to feel dismissed or angry with his brother. Truthfully, he was very jealous upon his brother’s arrival, more than I expected. When he met him, he was perfect... He kissed him. But when he got home, it was like ‘Oh, this little thing is not leaving, he’s staying,’ and he’s also in his room. So, it’s been a lot for him.

Now what we do is that my mother helps me a lot with the baby, which I’m so grateful for. Long live the grandmothers! The dynamic in the evening is that she and I bathe Franco and then my mom stays with him until around 1 in the morning. I got to bed with Gennaro so that he sleeps with his mom and dad, which is what he’s been doing all this time. Then I take over my mom’s shift until 6 am, and return to Gennaro so that he wakes up with me. Then we get Gennaro ready and take him to school. I have to do it this way, if not I can’t enjoy Franco.

Yes. He’s marking his territory. But Gennaro still kisses him and tries to get closer and he counts the time I have with him being like, ‘It’s my turn now, mom.’ Things are getting better, he’s improved so much, but our routine is sitll based on him developing an understanding that he has a little brother and a best friend that’ll accompany him throughout his life. It hasn’t been easy, but I understand that it’s a part of the process, that this will pass and that soon they’ll be playing and running around together, loving each other for the rest of their lives.

Franco was almost born here at home. It was incredibly fast. When I gave birth to Gennaro, the birthing process was that I broke my water, then I had contractions, and then the baby was born naturally. With Franco it was also natural, but different in the sense that I started having contractions at home. I woke up at 1am with that pain and I thought that my water was going to break, so I waited until 5 in the morning with labor pains but nothing more happened. I remember that my doctor told me, ‘You have to count your contractions. If they start to happen more often and last over four minutes, then you have to come to the hospital because that means you’re in labor.’

I wanted to wait until 7am because I didn’t want to leave without Gennaro seeing me, but the pain was so strong that at 5am I told Francesco that we had to go. I said, ‘Francesco this pain is escalating very fast, and it’s happening too frequently.’ So we went to the hopital and when we arrived I was six centimeters dillated. You need ten to give birth, so they gave me anesthesia because they thought we were short on time, but in the end it was an easy and natural labor.

I heard his cry and that’s a moment that a mother always remembers. We were crying, his dad and I. Francesco put the baby close to me, on my chest, and Franco relaxed. Afterward, they took him to do all of the necessary checks to see if everything was normal. But honestly, I just felt relief and a lot of gratefulness that my child arrived and that he was healthy. I didn’t know that I could be that strong. I feel very proud of myself and I’m in awe of our bodies and what we can do.

I’m not as aware of everything or as meticulous, because that’s who I am, but I’m more relaxed. I don’t lose my mind over certain things. I don’t think he’s going to die. With the first baby you think that they’re going to die for any reason. For the third child I imagine that you feel as if they’re raising themselves.

I’d like to. We want to, but I’m embarassed to talk about having a child when I gave birth less than three weeks ago. We both want another baby and we hope that if it happens, it’s a girl. Everytime I say it’s a girl, a boy comes out (laughs) and if it’s another boy then I’m going to adore him, because I get the best deal out of all. Gennaro is like bubblegum, always glued to me. Now that he’s about to be three years old, he hugs me and kisses me and says ‘I love you, mom.’ A mother of boys truly experiences true and inconditional love. He takes care of me, loves me, is jealous of me. The boys belong to the mother. I’d like to give a girl to Francisco but if it comes out a boy then... he’ll have to figure it out and form his soccer team.

Yes, we’re moving to my dream house, the one I designed. Of course, with a team of professionals that know what they’re doing, but it’s all I want in a house so that has me very excited. Sadly, it’s not ready yet so for now we’re moving to a rental.

Well, I’ve always known I’m a strong woman and have considered myself this way due to everything I’ve experienced in life and everything I’ve achieved. Now, I’m more aware of my strength and the things I can do and accomplish. When you give birth to a baby, especially if you do it naturally, you feel invincible, like after that you can take on anything.

I’m more aware of that power that we women have and feel more relaxed than normal, like I understand the natural process of things. I’m very calm and I trust myself more because I have my priorities straight and I have my family, which is the most beautiful thing that a person can have.

I could mention a string of things that I still have to fix to become the Francisca I dream of, although I don’t know if that will ever arrive, that feeling of being complete in life. What I can tell you is that I feel fulfilled, I feel happy and excited for what the future holds for me. Obviously tired, because I don’t want to paint maternity as the most romantic and perfect thing in the world. That’s a lie, but I do see everything with a lot of hope. I want to do more things. I want to eat the world and feel so grateful for it.

I am a dreamer forever. But yes, I want to obviously return to ‘Despierta America.’ As I said, I feel mature and strong. I think this Francisca will be able to give so much more to the program and to people. That’s how I feel. I want to make more movies, I want to make films in the Dominican Republic. In fact, I’m having discussions to return to cinema this year and make something in the Dominican Republic. I want to grow my social media, my brand, my name, and that’s what I’m focused on.

What you just said is key because a child can unite but it can also separate you from your partner. Sometimes parents don’t remember that they have to feed that relationship. Francesco and I always talk about that, because we say that our kids are going to be as healthy as we are and as happy as we are.

And yes, it’s tough to balance things, but now you know that being a parent restricts the time that you used to have as a childless couple. But we can still give each other quality time. When I was pregnant with Franco, we had a rule of having a date night once a week. Of course, a date for old people, from 5:30 pm to 8pm, that way we could come home and sleep (laughs). Before having kids, it was midnight and we cracking bottles of wine open. Now, we at least have those two hours where we focus on each other, we look, we listen, we touch each other. We know that we’re there. We also remind ourselves that this is a phase and that the years fly by. We take care of our relationship with a date, a text, with love, and by working on things as a team.

I’ve accepted that guilt tends to follow the parents around. It’s like the package that’s handed to you when they give you your kid at the hospital. It’s the first thing we feel, guilty over everything, right? And you don’t know if you’re doing things right, but you have to trust in what you give to your kids and you have to pray so God can guide you and help you raise good people. If you’re asking me about my biggest fear when it comes to raising children, it’s for them to grow up feeling disconnected from me. That’s what I fear the most, because I know children who are disconnected from their parents, who have no communication with them. Maybe that’s not the parent’s fault, maybe it’s something that’s momentary, because we act differently depending on our circumstances.

That’s my biggest fear and I always talk about it with my husband. That’s why I give my kids so much time, in taking them somewhere, in looking into their eyes, in asking them questions. Because I want Franco and Gennaro to always see us as their home, as the place they can run to and feel protefcted if the world is about to end. That’s my concern; to remember that they’re always my priority and that they’re the most important thing I have.