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During a candid and heartfelt conversation on Allison Kugel’s Allison Interviews podcast, the former professional boxer Oscar de la Hoya, now 50, bravely opened up about the actual reason behind his decision to allow his ex-partner, Shanna Moakler, and Travis Barker, to raise his daughter, Atiana de la Hoya.
“I basically ran away,” De La Hoya admitted, baring his vulnerability. “I was scared. I was fearful.” While reflecting on his journey, De La Hoya shared the moments when he genuinely attempted to embrace fatherhood fully. “I did try to be a father full-time for a few years, and it was beautiful,” he continued.
His self-awareness took him to a place of contemplation and self-reflection. “It was amazing to raise a little girl, but there came a point where you say to yourself, ‘Wait a minute. You’re not worthy of this,’” De La Hoya explained. As he navigated his complex emotions, he ultimately made the difficult decision, realizing that for his daughter’s well-being, stepping aside was the right course of action.
Haunted by his past, De La Hoya bravely acknowledged the internal struggle he faced in believing he was unworthy of love, a result of the love he never received as a child. “You try to convince yourself that you are not worthy of this, that love is not possible in your life, because of what I lived through, not receiving that love when I was a kid. My father never told me, ‘I love you.’”
Opening up about his painful childhood, De La Hoya also disclosed the absence of affection from his mom. “My mother never told me she loved me. She never really gave me a hug. When I would cry, she would start hitting me. That is how bad it was,” he added.
As life took unpredictable turns, De La Hoya grappled with the turmoil of addiction, seeking solace in substances to escape the void within. “All you want to do is drink and do drugs and escape,” he shared, revealing the dark moments that engulfed him. In a twist of fate, his boxing career became a lifeline, keeping him on a path during times of crisis.
Despite his emotional struggles, De La Hoya opened up about his role as a father. He reflected on being present but not fully engaged, a consequence of his internal battles. “I was always there, but not there, you know? It wasn’t your typical relationship with the father and the mother there 24/7. It wasn’t like that, but obviously, she is my daughter and I love her,” he assured. “You have to check in and you worry. Even though I was apart, I felt like I was always close, but I didn’t feel like I was worthy enough to do the job.”
In a heartfelt interview before the release of his HBO documentary The Golden Boy, the 50-year-old opened up about Travis Barker ’s immeasurable impact on Atiana’s life. Oscar said he is overflowing with gratitude while praising Barker for his role in raising his beloved daughter.
He sincerely appreciated Barker, acknowledging him as a true “father figure” when he couldn’t be there. “Look, I didn’t raise my kids, you know? Their moms did. And I have to give credit where credit is due,” De La Hoya told Entertainment Tonight. “I’m grateful that Barker was there, you know, as a father figure for my daughter,” he continued.
De La Hoya’s admiration for Barker shines through as he emphasizes the drummer’s unwavering commitment to stepping up and embracing his role in Atiana’s life. “But, again, I’m grateful for what they’ve done, especially with Barker. He’s obviously stepped up to the plate,“ he added.