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Michelle Obama talks about losing friendships when entering the White House

In a snippet of her Netflix documentary with Oprah Winfrey, Michelle talked about “slow-ghosting” friends when in the White House.


Maria Loreto
Senior Writer
APRIL 24, 2023 2:02 PM EDT

Michelle Obama is readying for the release of her new Netflix documentary, “The Light We Carry: Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey.” The doc is an hour and thirty minutes film featuring an honest coversation between Michelle and Oprah, where they discuss multiple topics highlighted in Michelle’s book. One of these is friendship.

The Light We Carry: Overcoming In Uncertain Times   In Conversation With Michelle Obama© GettyImages
Oprah and Michelle discussing “The Light We Carry”

A snippet of the film was teased by Netflix, showing the two women discussing friendships and the unique pressures that arise by situations like living in the White House. Rolling Stone teased the clip and the exchange between the two women. “Did all of your friends make the cut once you went to the White House?” Oprah asked, referencing a statement that Michelle made in her book.

“Nope. No, they did not,” said Michelle. “Here’s the thing that I’ve learned: Stay open to friends… but when they show you who they are, you got to [believe them], and then move on. And some friends had foibles that were fine for ‘regular’ friends, but once we get into the White House, it was like, ‘Oh, you can’t be that person up in here. We got too much at stake.’”

“If my friends weren’t acting right? It was slow ghost,” she said. “You know, the slow ghost — where you don’t cut them off right away, but you just become less… available.”

Michelle Obama & Oprah Winfrey | The Light We Carry | Official Trailer | Netflix

“The Light We Carry: Michelle Obama and Oprah Winfrey” will be streaming on Netflix this April 25th.

Per the streamer’s logline, the documentary “shares personal family stories about her childhood and time in the White House, offers hard won wisdom about self-confidence, fear, and aging, and gives practical advice for living in modern times, including the power of a kitchen table full of friends.”