Carolina Sarassa introduces her newborn Noah Mattia: ‘I am the happiest Mom in the world. We are complete’

I am very happy, very excited. I was eager to see a photo that captured both, my daughter Chloé together with my little boy Noah Mattia, it’s like a dream come true.

There is much more responsibility. They say that the heart grows and I understood that the moment they handed me my baby. Now, the difficult part will be to split myself for two. The other day I said: “well, I‘m going to take a bath because they are both asleep and have some time to myself,” I get out of the shower and both of them are crying. I had to pay attention to both of them and I had one in one arm and the other with the bottle hanging from my chest. It is total happiness. I think in Michelle Obama’s book, she says something very nice, that when she had only one daughter, her family was like a perfect triangle. Then, when her second baby was born she had an even more perfect square. My baby Noah was what we needed to complete our happiness. Chloé for me is everything, she is my life, but when Noah arrived he showed me that I can love the same. It is incredible and I tell everyone that many women since they were little say “I want to be a mother”, it is their life dream. I wanted to be a mom, but it wasn‘t my lifelong dream. If I had known what I was going to feel, I would be a mother at 20 and had several children.

The thing is...(laughs). I think having a boy and a girl is perfect. Besides, I was very scared of what would happen when I had a second baby, because Chloé has been raised with 100% attention from her grandparents, her parents, she was the center of this home. Because he is a boy, I don‘t think she feels so competitive, he is like her little doll...it’s perfect because even though I would give everything for my daughter, my daughter would give everything for her dad and I ask myself: how is it possible? I get up at dawn, I gave birth to her…I love her and in the end she loves her father. Hopefully it is the other way and my boy is all about his mother.

During my two pregnancies I was always on the lookout for the baby‘s movement and with Noah I was blessed because he moved every second. Then on a Tuesday very late at night, it had been about six hours and I didn’t feel him move. So around two in the morning I told my husband: “stay with the girl, I‘m going to the emergency room because something feels wrong.” I went to the ER and they told me that everything was fine, that it was surely a sleep cycle. It was a bit strange because during the seven months the baby had not had that long sleep cycle. So I hurried and got in my car, turned on the music loudly, drank hot and cold water, I did everything and nothing…I didn’t feel him moving. The next day, I went to my doctor’s appointment and he tells me that he would like to see the baby’s heart again to see how it is going, but that everything looks very good. When he checked his heartbeat, he realized that he is too asleep, the cycle of the little heart was almost in a straight line. The doctor told me: “My dear, you are not going home”, I had come from work in a dress with heels and hair extensions, and eyelashes and he said: “We are going to admit you now, the baby will be born tomorrow.” So, he walked with me in the hospital and told me that it was time to deliver the baby because something was wrong, since the placenta was not feeding the child, it weighed no more than 5 pounds, which is not normal and it grew very little each week.

What hurt me the most is that I couldn‘t say goodbye to Chloé. I remember that moment and I wanted to die because every day I say goodbye to my daughter and on that particular day, I went to work late and I remember her crying: “Mom!” And I went in the car and I thought I was going to see her later and I didn’t see her for a week. It was horrible because I wanted to FaceTime her, but didn‘t want her to see me and cry. I was so happy because my boy was going to be born but I couldn’t see my baby girl. I have not been separated a single night from Chloé since she was born. Chloé to this day falls asleep on my chest and every night that passed, I knew that Chloé was not with her mom and she only eats when I give her her food. It hurt so much not to have said goodbye to her.

Well, I ended up giving birth when the pandemic started. The week the baby was born, cases had increased in Miami Dade. First, two people could visit me, my mother and my husband. Then they said only one. There were nights when I was left alone because my husband was going to take care of our daughter, it was horrible ... alone, tired of watching TV, watching the phone, the baby monitor and I had a woman next to me that also had complications with her baby. They injected me with penicillin because there was no time to know if I had any type of bacteria in my body, steroids so the baby could grow faster and in the end it was a blessing because when he was born he was 5 pounds, the smallest little man I have ever seen in all of my life, but perfect.

Yes, natural but induced.

Total happiness, I was so worried because the labor lasted 15 hours, they induced it because there was no way that baby wanted to leave. Finally, at one point I fell asleep and a nurse came in and said, “Your water broke!” Then within half an hour the baby was born. When he was born, as soon as he cried, I felt liberated. Anyway, I was afraid because they had to do many tests on him. He was so small that they didn‘t think he could sit in a car seat, they didn’t want me to take him out of the hospital, they even put him in a car seat simulator. They put him for an hour and a half, connected from head to toe to see if he can hold himself, especially by his neck. All very happy, but I was missing my Chloé, so her godmother came to the house and played with her. It was very weird for me, because the days passed and Chloé became like a movie, that girl that felt so real that was fading away. I saw her bigger in the videos that they sent me, saying words that I had not taught her and it reached a point that she no longer asked about me.

Happy. When we arrived from the hospital, Chloé was asleep, my mother came in with the baby, I sat on the couch and as soon as she heard the baby cry, she got up and said: “Baby?” She came and it was like I never left. She was immediately on my chest, as she always did, and delighted with her baby brother. The next day, she got up asking about the baby. Now, she gets upset with me because I won‘t let her carry it, she wants to give him the bottle, she wants to change him, she wants the baby to play with her. It is her baby and she says: “The baby is mine”, she has been the best sister in the world..

I am the happiest mother in the world, I would not change that for anything, not to be the most beautiful woman in the world or a millionaire. I am Carolina, the mother of Chloé Sophia and Noah Mattia, complete. I get up in the morning to think about them, my day is them. If I were a millionaire, I would watch my children all day. I think the day Chloé goes to school and I’m going to want to die. I am a mother hen that always her chicks by her side. During Chloé‘s pregnancy, a friend told me to always think that God made everything in the most beautiful way, to let God be the one in charge of everything and that’s how it was and Chloé is a perfect girl. With this baby, I had a lot of faith that everything was going to be okay. I knew he was small but the doctors were so positive and I was so sure that he was going to be healthy, clinging on to that faith..

That loss affected me a lot and it was such a great lesson from God that it is not when you want, it is when He wants. I would never want to have that experience again, but it prepared me to be more grateful for what I have.

Every day. I have a small altar here in my house and every night I kneel to pray to God. I have always prayed to him for the health of my children so that I can be with them. Their lives come first. I have always told my husband that if something happens to me, to forget about me and focus on the kids, “start your life, find another partner”, so that my children are fine

That‘s true and she will be my son’s godmother and it is the only way to force her and force me to see each other at least once a year.

Next year, to let the pandemic slow down a little so we can travel with more peace of mind..

I would like to do it in Spain. I made a promise many years ago in La Sagrada Familia that I wanted a good man. I was with a boyfriend and I remembered that this boyfriend was bad. I was going to pray for him to marry me but then I said no, and I prayed to God to send me a good man and a son, and if so I would go back to the altar to give thanks. When I got pregnant with Chloé, the envelope where it says if it‘s a boy or a girl, I opened it in Spain. That is why I would like to go to Spain to baptize my boy.

It is happiness at its finest. It is Carolina fulfilling her goals, it is Carolina leaving her mark on this world, Carolina being a better human being. If I see a piece of paper on the street, I go and pick it up because I want there to be more parks in the world for children. Before, animals broke my heart and now that I am a mother I see my children in every child, I see my parents in every older person. It has allowed me to be a better person..

The feeling of guilt. I feel guilty about everything and constantly because I want to be perfect with my children. I wish God would give me an extra arm so I could better watch over Noah and Chloé, feed the dogs, and prepare the baby bottles. I would love for them to never have a problem in life and if we go to the park and someone takes my daughter’s toy, it makes me want to die, but I have to let her learn.

I think enduring pain. I always saw that when my mother would fall or something happened to her and she did not cry, she had no problem. I used to say: “how strong is my mother”. It‘s the same with me now. I have gallbladder problems and my stomach hurts constantly, I burn or hurt myself trying to cook super fast... I do have pain, but I am so focused on my children that that pain goes somewhere else.