Gisele Bundchen celebrates international Yoga Day© giselebundchen

Gisele Bündchen reflects on the “most difficult times” in her life on international Yoga Day

The model detailed her postpartum depression and anxiety in her 2018 memoir


Jovita Trujillo - Los Angeles
Senior WriterLos Angeles
UPDATED JUNE 21, 2021 9:45 PM EDT

It’s Monday, June 21st so if you’re a big yoga fan like Gisele Bündchen, you know it’s international yoga day. The holiday has been celebrated annually since 2015 and is all about appreciating the physical, mental, and spiritual practices that originated in ancient India. The supermodel shared a photo hitting a pose and reflected in the caption about how it helped her get through the “most difficult times” in her life.

© giselebundchen

Gisele Bündchen

The Brazilian model and businesswoman explained she immersed herself into the ancient art, “Many years ago, after going through one of the most difficult times in my life.” She explained “I immersed myself in the very deep process of getting to know myself better. With the help of yoga and meditation, I came out of that period stronger and happier, and knowing that no matter how difficult challenges appear in the moment, they always bring with them an opportunity for transformation.” She added the hashtag “Gratitude“ and “internationalyogaday.”

Before the release of her 2018 memoir, Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life, she reflected on her postpartum experience that led to suicidal thoughts. “I actually had the feeling of, ‘If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in,’” she told PEOPLE  at the time.

© Gisele Bündchen

Gisele, Tom and the family

She explained in the memoir that after giving birth to her and Tom Brady’s children, Benjamin, 11, and Vivian Lake, 8, she lost herself. “When I became a mom, I kind of lost myself. It was like a part of me died,” she wrote. “I’d been this very independent person. It was all about me. But now I had this little being, and I suddenly felt l couldn’t do other things and that was very hard for me. All I ever wanted was to be a mom, but when you’re actually experiencing that, it’s a shock.”

The postpartum anxiety affected the way she saw herself physically and she had a breast augmentation in 2015. She told PEOPLE in 2018 she immediately regretted the decision. “When I woke up, I was like, ‘What have I done?’ I felt like I was living in a body I didn’t recognize,” she said. “For the first year, I wore [baggy] clothes because I felt uncomfortable.”

She saw a specialist, who prescribed Xanax but decided she didn’t want to rely on medication. “The thought of being dependent on something felt, in my mind, even worse, because I was like, ‘What if I lose that [pill]? Then what? Am I going to die?’ The only thing I knew was, I needed help.” With the help of doctors, she began a total lifestyle overhaul, which included Yoga.