The laughter is heard again in Ximena Duque’s home with the arrival of their second daughter Skye. The baby is a true miracle! She was born on February 6th surrounded by one of the most complex times for modern society. This birth, marked by the pandemic, was an extraordinary moment for the Duque-Adkins family.
Ximena faced many challenges while waiting for her little girl. It was truly a nightmare that endangered the lives of both, mother and daughter in the final stretch of pregnancy. However, the shock was overcome with the unconditional support of her husbands Jay Adkins and Ximena’s family. This united them even more.
Fortunately, those days are behind her and without forgetting the lessons learned, Ximena chatted exclusively with HOLA! USA about her new days as a mom. She also discussed how her three-year-old daughter Luna welcomed the baby home and the new experiences with Cristán, her teenage son, who has decided to take his own path to success in an inspiring way.
Unfortunately, COVID-19 came home when I was 37 weeks pregnant. I gave it to my mom, my husband, and my daughter Luna. Anyway ... then I followed. I never imagined that I would end up in the hospital either. According to me: ‘Well, I’m pregnant, I have a super strong immune system, I’m young, I take care of myself, I play sports ...’ Pum! It knocked me down and they took me to the hospital. It was very complicated and I think it was not so much the virus, but the situation, which includes having that type of virus in that family situation.
I arrived at the hospital with pneumonia. Like any mom, we have to overcome what we have to overcome, and if you get sick, then you recover. But, being pregnant, it was the concern of: “Will my daughter be okay? Is she breathing? Is it affecting her?” Then the amniotic fluid started to go down which was another concern. I was alone, between four walls and without my husband, without my mother. I was thinking: am I going to end up in a C-section? What is going to happen? No one can come. All those things go through your mind. It was a real nightmare that I do not wish on anyone.
Those days made me appreciate my husband a lot. I fell in love even more. If I was already re-in love, now I am much more, because as one promises oneself at the altar: “Through thick and thin, in health and disease.” As a father, I was incredibly surprised by how he handled the situation with Luna. It was mom and dad for three weeks. He was very anguished. In fact, he says that he was very traumatized seeing me in such a condition, that even at a certain point I knew it was very hard for him. The experience made us stronger as a couple, as individuals, as a married couple and as a family.
(Laughter) I would like to, but when we turn 10 years old. We are going to celebrate five years of marriage. I would like my children to be part of the court, something familiar, something small. I was just talking about it with a friend and I was telling her that I would love to renew vows on the beach in five years, it would be a dream come true. With my princesses, my big son who takes me to the altar again, my daddy is gone; but, my son can do it for him. So relax, I‘ll give the scoop to you.
I think with Skye everything was much easier. I can talk about all deliveries! I had a water birth, the natural one with an epidural and a caesarean section. Completely different experiences, both as childbirth and pregnancy. With Cristán I didn‘t know anything and I went to the hospital every month thinking that something was wrong with my son. Nowadays, I already handle a fever better. With Luna it was like starting over, because I got pregnant for practically the first time, that is, after 14 years.
I think with Skye everything was much easier. I can talk about all deliveries! I had a water birth, the natural one with an epidural and a caesarean section. Completely different experiences, both as childbirth and pregnancy. With Cristán I didn‘t know anything and I went to the hospital every month thinking that something was wrong with my son. Nowadays, I already handle a fever better. With Luna it was like starting over, because I got pregnant for practically the first time, that is, after 14 years.
The pregnancy of girls is very different, in my experience, from that of boys. With Cristan he didn‘t give me anything. The girls finished me. For four or five months in bed, my God, with discomfort. It was hard. What happens is that you hide in social networks because you have to continue and move forward but, uf, it was complicated!
The first few months are obviously a bit challenging because the baby is with us. We cannot watch television. We cannot do our things. But, mentally we had been preparing because Skye was highly sought after. We also understand, as a couple, that it is a process that happens quickly, that‘s why we try to enjoy them because I see Luna and I say: “My God, she’s three and a half years old now. It’s crazy.”
My husband and I are a super team. One night I get up, another he gets up. We do this dynamic so that one can rest. We are not both outdated but we have that balance. The baby gets up at four in the morning. He gets up and I get up at six, and so we take turns. It is important to have that support with your partner, doing it by yourself is very difficult, and the dynamic always changes with a newborn baby in the house. Skye is now three months old. In three more she will be sleeping in her room, if her pediatrician has authorized us; then everything will go back to normal.
Skye is like dad, not just physically. Luna is like from another world. She is already on another level. It is a personality that when you meet her, you are terrified, and I do not say it, but the people around her. She has a very unique personality and a strong character. Skye, unlike Luna, is seen to be much more noble. She is super quiet. Skye didn‘t cry for like five hours after she was born. She does not cry at dawn. When she gets up to eat she begins to make sounds, to raise her legs, to play in her crib, but she does not even cry. Luna, when she was hungry, immediately just got up and I had to run.
Unlike my other children, it was not so pretty because I ended up in a cesarean section, not an emergency one. I tried to have it natural but Skye was coming from the front and couldn‘t get out. I pushed for two and a half hours, and the anesthesia had no effect. Coming from the COVID experience and not having my breathing at maximum capacity, I was tired. Very strong, those labor pains are terrible. I am very happy to know that I will not go through that again because I have already closed the factory. It is already a fact!
In my case, the recovery from the cesarean section was very painful. I don‘t know for the rest of women. I was coming from two natural births and had the baby and boom! You stop like nothing. I was in bed not being able to move much. That was a bit frustrating as a mom. What I mentalized was that once at home, I was going to be able to be calmer, to be with her more.
My husband tells me that we are not going to have any more babies because when [Skye] grows up, all these toys have to be given away. Having so many toys lying around is stressful for him. Well, something that worked a lot for me was keeping almost everything about Luna for her because I knew she wanted to have another baby and I knew it was going to be a girl, because I talked to God and told him: “It‘s going to be a girl.” It’s very nice. It’s like starting over. That little diaper, the little clothes, is using a lot of things that Luna didn’t even put on or that she used once. I’m playing dolls!
The first day she got a little heavy, weepy. Like she was wondering: ‘What is this? What did they just bring me? ’I was telling her that we were going to bring a sister and that she was going to be the older sister. At the hospital we would FaceTime her. She wanted to see me all the time and she wanted to see Skye. She tells everyone on the street that she has a Skye. She says it in Spanish and English: ‘I have a Skye’, super cute. But, what happens is that with Luna the dynamics have not changed. For me it was a priority that Luna did not feel that for Skye she had to stop doing her routine. No, then, my mother thank God she helps me with Luna.
Sometimes I felt bad because I worked so much, from home but a lot. Then I understood that this is the best example I can give my daughters. I work from home and am lucky to go downstairs, kiss them, have lunch with them, have breakfast with them, and get back on my computer to work. That was what I wanted. In acting I didn‘t have that. I sacrificed very special moments with my son because I had to go to work 15, 16, 17 hours a day on a Saturday. I know these girls are going to be very bright. They have a very intelligent, very responsible and dedicated dad. A man who reads a lot and I know that he is going to instill reading in my daughters as soon as they can read, and that is something wonderful.