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Kelly Rutherford may be a glamorous star, but she is living every mother's nightmare: being separated from her children with no end in sight. After yetanother setback in a six-year international custody battle, the Gossip Girl alum opened up about the toll it's taking on her and her two kids."I feel empty," she tells HELLO!. "I'm doingeverything I can to survive this."
Kelly, 46, has been battling her ex-husband Daniel Giersh, who has been livingwith their U.S.born children, 8-year-old Hermés and 5-year-old Helena in France, to get herkids back to their home country. Last week, a federal court denied her lawyer's request to get involved.
"Just because kids don't vote and pay taxes doesn't mean they don't have rights to be raised in their own country," she shares exclusively in a sit-down interview at The Mark Hotel in New York just days after the ruling. "It's a humanitarian issue. It's a constitutional issue."
Kelly walked the runway with her kids at a Fendi event in New York in 2011. Photo: Getty Images
The ongoing battle began in 2010 when Kelly was four months pregnant with Helena and she began divorce proceedings. Eventually a California judge ordered their two children to live with their father in France. Daniel was denied re-entry to the United States after his visa was revoked for unknown reasons. Due to the court-mandated arrangement, Kelly has had to travel to Europe to see her children.
"It doesn't make sense. How did this even happen," says Kelly, shaking her head as she describes the bizarre and heartbreaking scenario she has faced for years now. "At the end of the day, I'm a mother and a citizen of this country no matter what I do for a living. What I'm asking for is help."
Throughout our interview fans stopped by, recognizing the star, but the actress fears her celebrity status may actually have hurther in this case. "It's a big misconception especially because of thecharacter I played. Lily van der Woodsen and I had a big difference inmoney," she explains of her wealthy, entitled Gossip Girl role. "[Daniel] just sued me until I had no moremoney." Kelly had to file for bankruptcy and her dwindling fundsmake it difficult to see her children. "I go to visit them asoften as I can afford to go, about once month to every six weeks," shecontinues, having just returned from seeing them in France a few days before. "The longest I went was eight weeks because I couldn't afford to pay myrent."
Kelly split from Daniel while she was four months pregnant Photo: Getty Images
The mounting debt stems from the $50,000 to $100,000 a monthlegal bills she racked up, as well as the minimum of $5,000 a trip to see herkids for a week, trips that according to a judge, the children's father no longer has to pay for. "I worked hard to pay off these bills," Kelly adds."I did everything I could. I went to every event. I downsized our apartment. And forgetshopping!"
But, like many working mothers, Kelly has had to choose betweentaking on more work or seeing her children. "I could take on anotherseries to have the money to see my children, but then I wouldn't have thepredictable schedule," she says. "It's a tough choice."
Kelly says she has to choose between working or seeing her kids Photo: Getty Images
More than standing up for her children's' rights andworking hard to get her kids back, the mom-of-two admits she simply misses theday-to-day of being a mom. "I miss dropping them off and picking them upfrom school. I miss the day-to-day and smelling them and kissing them andloving them," she shares. "They're young, so you never get that timeback when they're little."
When discussing the precious time Kelly actually gets tospend with her children a smile comes across her face. "We're just likemonkeys all over each other," she says. "I really just do what theywant to do most of the time and we cuddle a lot."
Happier times. Kelly skateboards with her son during a rare visit Photo: Instagram
Although she talks to them on the phone or Facetimes withthem daily, it never makes up for the missed milestones andthe frequent goodbyes are hard. "It's very very emotional leaving them. Iget on the plane and just cry," she points out. "Me and the kids just go into that busy place because it's theonly way to survive it emotionally. We all cry when I leave."
"We all cry when I leave," Kelly says Photo: Instagram
To help her through the rough times, Kelly relies on astrong support system. "I have familyand friends that support me," she mentions. "I want to keep a positiveattitude around the kids and myself. I want to come through this healthy andstrong and an advocate. That's whatkeeps me going."
Kelly started an organization called the Children's Justice Campaign, which helpsfamilies going through similar family court issues have a voice and a fightingchance at protecting the rights of their kids. "There's a lot of parentsbeing bankrupted in the family court," she states. "Perhaps someone notin the spotlight would have had a different outcome than me in this situation,but it also raises the subject of rights of children. I'm thankful I have avoice because so many parents don't."
Gossip Girl co-star Ed Westwick has come out to support Kelly's organization Photo: Instagram
Kelly's children are aware of her efforts. "When I told Hermes about the organization I started he said, 'Mommy areyou still fighting for us?'" she says. "He knows in his heart that Iam. They know and I know, I'm doing thebest I can."
Daniel's lawyer told ABC News in a statement: “Daniel Giersch continues to protect the children from any negativity and therefore will continue to not engage in any of these unfortunate and false media fabrications which only serve one person but clearly not the children.”
Kelly's new lawyer, Wendy Murphy, has taken on the casepro bono and is determined to help Kelly get her kids back even if that meanstaking it to the Supreme Court. "If an American child involved in aninternational dispute cannot be assured a right to primary residency in theUnited States, then the 'right to remain a citizen in a freecountry,' guaranteed as absolute by the Supreme Court, has absolutely novalue," Wendy said in a statement.
The determined mom is set to take her case to the Supreme Court Photo: Getty Images
Kelly echoes that sentiment saying, "We are dealingwith a dad who has filed for residency in Monaco with our kids. Monaco hastaken in two U.S. citizens and he's not allowing them back to the United States.We need to evaluate how we protect U.S. citizens."
At the end of the day, Kelly is concerned about her kidshappiness and health. "I want my kids to look back on this time and say,'Thank god mom didn't say horrible things about dad and took the high road,'"she concludes. "Eventually they're going to read about this and I want them tobe healthy through this. They look to us to be the rock always and I take thatresponsibility seriously. Overall they know they're loved."
To learn more about how to support Kelly's organization click here.
